How much more i need to suffer?

The pain i through after my Ns is even more daunting one. So hard to land a job. So !@#4. No benefits, no payslip, cash payment. No company transport. Hell what i am doing to my life??. My path is a dark path with no lights shining. Someone help me. I just hope the day of my freedom comes soon enough for me. Falling sick often. I really need someone to help me boost my career and confindence. So little money but so many things need to purchase.